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Shadow of the Colossus: Re-Review

I already did a review of Shadow of the Colossus a while ago...sort of...

About a year after that, curiosity finally overcame my severe allergy to the game's horrid framerate, and I actually played it through. Of course, even *that* was awhile ago now, and I'm just now posting this, umm, re-review...

Very Ico-like atmosphere (naturally). Other than that, Shadow of the Colossus can be described like this:

Take any of the 3D Zelda games (they're all good), and make the following changes:

  • Pro: Make about half of the bosses three times as freaking awesome. (Disappointingly, not all the bosses are particularly "colossal", but none of them are below-par compared to Zelda bosses, which is good.)
  • Pro: Remove all the pointless yammering.
  • Pro: Remove minor irritants like the "low energy" beep and the cheesy "item-get" fanfare.
  • Con: Make the framerate suck (as I've already said).
  • Con: Make the controls not particularly responsive, most notably when riding the horse.
  • Con: Remove 90% of the side-quests, leaving most of the map a barren nothingness.
  • Con: Remove 100% of the dungeons.

Basically, it's a gimped 3D Zelda with a few better bosses. Find the next boss, beat it, and repeat, while occasionally taking some time to grab increases for your maximum health and strength. However, the good parts (ie, the bosses and atmosphere) definitely make it well-worth playing through if you can find a cheap used copy.

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V12s And The 640k Show Horse

"I've been commissioned to design a roadway for the city, and I've come up with a great design! It assumes that everyone has V12 cars...But come on, V12s have been around forever. Isn't it way past time that all those 4-cylinder owners finally upgraded? I'll be dammed if I'm going to compromise my wonderful design and take slightly more development time just to cater to the few people still living in the stone age."

Hypothetical, obviously. But it demonstrates exactly why programmers who trot out the "640k should be enough for everyone" show horse to defend their consumer-whoreism approach to development piss me off. (Well, that, and the fact that Gates never actually said it.)

I'll certainly grant that there are legitimate uses for 64-bit and multi-core. But this whole attitude of "Something that doesn't emit 64-bit is useless" and such has gotten ridiculously out of hand. Most people and programs don't need 64-bit or multi-core. Sure, a few do. And sure, many things can be better with 64-bit or multi-core - but they don't fucking need it. The notion that they do is a load of high-octane V12 bullshit.

This is the point where I inevitably get a bunch of crap about "But that's all the stores sell!" So what? Is that all that's in common use? Of course not. I don't know about you, but I develop for the hardware that people have, not hardware they might get if and when they decide to go buy something new (nevermind the second-hand eBay...maybe you've heard of it?). And when I optimize something to run well on the lower-end, guess what? It'll still run even better on the V12s. Even moreso since mine isn't one of the inevitably three or more programs on the user's system that all simultaneously believe their optimizations can rely on having at least of couple cores to their self.

And of course there's embedded software. You know, that stuff that the self-centered "waste loads of resources, because my time is more important" programmers always seem to forget exists. Embedded 32-bit and/or single-core devices are going to be around for quite awhile longer. Even the ones that don't stay 32-bit or single-core are still typically going to lag behind desktops, laptops and servers. Even aside from that, there's still power drainage and battery life. All of which leads me to another reason for software developers to cut the consumer-whore crap:

True story: A certain OS developer kept making each version more bloated than the last. They did it because they were Moore-worshipers, plus the bloat led to more hardware sales, which 90% of the time, were pre-packaged with their OS. Then they continued that with OS "Big Panoramic View 6" which completely fucked up their ability to compete in the emerging netbook and tablet markets: Ie, devices which were, guess what? Low-powered! Ah ha ha! Stupid fucks. So...are you behaving like Microsoft?

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Newsflash: "Whenever the hell I get around to it" means "3 years"

Well, I've gotten the hell around to it. Whee!

I've moved this not-a-blog from to my own web space. And I've switched from WordPress to TangoCMS in the process. Also, comments are back on ("Whee!" again). is a great site. I have nothing against it. The reasons I moved this away, though, are (most important to least important):

  1. I've had very little time for homebrew lately, and consequently, most of my posts have nothing to do with homebrew. So I felt it was inappropriate and inconsiderate for me to keep this site hosted there.
  2. I wanted to re-enable comments, but require CAPTCHA for it.
  3. I don't particularly like WordPress.

I'll probably be posting more frequently again now. I had been avoiding making posts for awhile because of #1 above. (Triple "whee"?)

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