All I want is a modern Firefox with a FF2+Winestripe[1] UI. You know: Modern efficiency, reliability and standards-compliance, but with a classic UI. A UI that doesn't even try to ape the idiotic look and feel of the world's ugliest web browser: Chrome.
Is that really so hard to ask for?
Apparently so. It would seem that if I want an efficient, reliable, "modern-standards" browser, I'm required to take it with the god-awful ideas that are "modern browser UI design".
Fuck that shit.
But let me be clear: I really don't mind if you like those "modern" browser UIs. That's fine, whatever floats your boat. What the hell do I care? Nothing.
Interestingly though, I've noticed that people do seem to care very much what browser I use. I bet that means I'm special and adored by everyone. Hmm, or maybe it's because unlike those people, I've chosen the wrong browser: Firefox 2.
Yup, and I'm a web developer, too. A web developer with an "ancient" browser.
I don't give a rat's ass what browser you use. It's none of my business. But judging from my past experiences on message boards, chances are your nuts are chafing right now over the knowledge that I use Firefox 2, the "wrong" browser.
That's good. Let those balls chafe for a moment...But consider this proposal before you reach for that "Bitch that someone on the Internet made the wrong choice" button (aka "Submit comment"):
I'd love to just jump into the code myself and put a proper UI back in. And it's fully been my intent to do so. But my plate, honestly, is overflowing. I just haven't had the time and I won't for the foreseeable future. There are, however, people who are already neck-deep in web browser source code. People who may even be paid to do so. People who work at Mozilla, for example.
So, since my choice of browser is so offensively wrong, how about enticing me to join your collective by tossing in a "Non-trendy UI" option? Hell, even call it "Old Fart UI", as long as it's there: No toolbar minimalism, no unified forward/back dropdown, no "smart" this or "smart" that, no AwfulBar look or feel, no non-native window skinning (or misuse of buttons as tabs *couch*Opera*cough*)...And most of all, NO asinine "What the hell is wrong with you dumb trolls who refuse to love our obviously and objectively superior new UI?" bullshit.
Modern technology, classic UI.
That's all I ask. That's not such a terrible request, is it?
If you're wonderful enough to do that for me, I'll happily jump on board your modernism train. Heck, once there, I'll even apply some salve (figuratively, of course - don't get too excited!). Sounds like a great deal to me, for both sides.
But wait, there's more!
I'm not gonna shut the others out from this deal-of-a-lifetime: Mozilla may have a leg up, but I'm game for some ship-jumping with anyone who can close the gap. Simply keep in mind that I'll hold onto FF2 well into the 2060's before I give up the following plugins:
- NoScript
- AdBlock Plus (with Element Hiding Helper)
- BetterPrivacy
- Tab Mix Plus
- DisableBackspaceNavigation (or equivalent option)
Those are absolute minimum. I won't even consider your browser without those. Also mandatory is a complete lack of stealth/piggyback/background software (ex: I'll never install Chrome as long as SRWare Iron exists). Extra brownie points if I don't have to give up these:
So how 'bout it? Fair enough? Excellent!
[1] Winestripe: A FF1.x theme for FF2 that makes FF2 look non-ugly. Doesn't work on FF3 and up. I'm talking the real one here. The newer remakes just don't fit the bill: There's too many changes in FF3+ they still fail to revert.
1 comment for "The Perfect Browser is Easy! Yet It Still Doesn't Exist..."
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